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Things That Took Me Years to Learn

Jennifer Goddard's picture

Just received this sage advice from a collegue in South Africa....


1.      Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2.      If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3.      There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4.      People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5.      You should not confuse your career with your life.

6.      Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance!

7.      Never lick a steak knife.

8.      The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9.      You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

10.     There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

11.     The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

12.     A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails)

13.     Your friends love you anyway.

14.     Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Bill Jarrard's picture

Further advice from Canada

Good advice Jen. 

As a Canadian I can add one more for anyone in Canada or anyplace really cold (-40°C).  Don't lick a frozen window or metal railing etc, no matter how nice the frost pattern looks.  Your tongue will immediately freeze to the window or metal and the only way off will rip all your taste bids off.  Very painful, and something that seemingly every Canadian child (including me) has to learn first hand.